weekend at the beach

08 Oct

First thing you have to know about this weekend is that the weather was unbelievably awesome. That rarely happens in October at the Oregon Coast (especially the North Coast). I even had a bit too much sun and a bit too little sunblock. But anyways, I wanted to let you know that first.

I had purchased a part of this weekend away for moms last spring at our school auction. I didn’t know everyone who would be there and to be honest, I didn’t pay any attention to the date. When it crept up on me I was thinking several times I might cancel. My life is just really cray-cray right now. But in the end I just sucked it up and went.

Here is what I now know about myself:
I can’t do big groups of women on a weekend away. It is too chaotic. I can do three to six families camping or three families sharing a large vacation home, but I can’t do only women in large groups for an entire weekend. Too much of everything and I have a hard time finding a quiet retreat from the chaos.

I won’t fight to get my thoughts across in a large group. It’s not something I care to invest in. If people are so gung ho to talk over me, then I just shut down and walk away. I think it is due to 17 years of being with my husband who normally just listens. I’m not used to fighting to get a word in because I get them ALL in. (I laugh when I realize this truth. He has made me who I am. I love him!)

I am marginally high maintenance so I do have limits to what I can endure. For example: I don’t eat pork. It isn’t that I am allergic or what not, it is simply I have no desire to eat it. That is fairly high maintenance. Or, another example, the fact that I lost both parents fairly young in life and now have MS lends me a different view on the fragility of life and therefore have no time for bullshit drama. You want drama, take it else where. I can’t abide. Also I can’t spar with you over who has the smarter children-better house-better cooking skills-elite grade school for the smarter kids-or other nonsense that is a waste of my energy and time. I will allow you to THINK you have won because it obviously means a great deal to you and I couldn’t care less. Instead, I’ll just be searching for that quiet corner to escape from the chatter and be alone.

I’m now coming to the realization that I need smaller, selective groups that feed me and for shorter periods of time. My kids are growing up too fast I would rather spend time on a sunny beach with them then alone with my thoughts.

And that’s where I am at today.
Thanks for reading.

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Posted by on October 8, 2012 in Uncategorized


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