First thing you have to know about this weekend is that the weather was unbelievably awesome. That rarely happens in October at the Oregon Coast (especially the North Coast). I even had a bit too much sun and a bit too little sunblock. But anyways, I wanted to let you know that first.
I had purchased a part of this weekend away for moms last spring at our school auction. I didn’t know everyone who would be there and to be honest, I didn’t pay any attention to the date. When it crept up on me I was thinking several times I might cancel. My life is just really cray-cray right now. But in the end I just sucked it up and went.
Here is what I now know about myself:
I can’t do big groups of women on a weekend away. It is too chaotic. I can do three to six families camping or three families sharing a large vacation home, but I can’t do only women in large groups for an entire weekend. Too much of everything and I have a hard time finding a quiet retreat from the chaos.
I won’t fight to get my thoughts across in a large group. It’s not something I care to invest in. If people are so gung ho to talk over me, then I just shut down and walk away. I think it is due to 17 years of being with my husband who normally just listens. I’m not used to fighting to get a word in because I get them ALL in. (I laugh when I realize this truth. He has made me who I am. I love him!)
I am marginally high maintenance so I do have limits to what I can endure. For example: I don’t eat pork. It isn’t that I am allergic or what not, it is simply I have no desire to eat it. That is fairly high maintenance. Or, another example, the fact that I lost both parents fairly young in life and now have MS lends me a different view on the fragility of life and therefore have no time for bullshit drama. You want drama, take it else where. I can’t abide. Also I can’t spar with you over who has the smarter children-better house-better cooking skills-elite grade school for the smarter kids-or other nonsense that is a waste of my energy and time. I will allow you to THINK you have won because it obviously means a great deal to you and I couldn’t care less. Instead, I’ll just be searching for that quiet corner to escape from the chatter and be alone.
I’m now coming to the realization that I need smaller, selective groups that feed me and for shorter periods of time. My kids are growing up too fast I would rather spend time on a sunny beach with them then alone with my thoughts.
And that’s where I am at today.
Thanks for reading.