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Monthly Archives: June 2011

I miss her

This weekend was very, very difficult. Our community came together to celebrate our Sarah who recently lost her battle with melanoma. Nothing about her rosary or funeral was easy, but it was all necessary. I cried, I laughed, I hugged, and I felt both empty and full at the same time. I miss her so damn much. It tears at my heart. Loving someone and losing them makes you want to run to your bed and throw the covers over your head and grieve in private, but that is not how we do it in our community. We are there for one another. We check in on one another and that caring helps our hearts mend and lets us know that we are loved.

Sarah has now completed her transformation to heaven. She has her wings and she is enjoying her freedom from her body on earth. She is waiting to greet each of us with that big smile and warm hug and kiss on the lips. She loved us ALMOST as much as we love her (wink wink). Sarah taught us a lot of important lessons, but the one I am learning right now is that life is too damn short to be wasted on trivial stuff.

I love you Sarah Elizabeth Schor Bach and I always will.

I wear my orange bracelet still because I am forever your warrior.

 
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Posted by on June 20, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

10,000 steps and another big step

I have been wearing my bodybugg for weeks now thinking it will keep me motivated and on track. Yeah, right! You have to use it completely to make it work for you! I don’t log my food consistently and I haven’t hit my activity levels most days. That is…until today!

Tonight, after dinner, I walked to Sarah prayers and back (3 miles round trip) and hit my 10,000 steps. Hooray! Today I didn’t drink a diet coke, eat candy, or indulge in treats. I drank water, ate apples, ate oranges, and scrubbed the bathroom rather than sit and watch tv. I think I watched less than 90 minutes of tv today.

But my big step is coming clean with my Kris. He doesn’t know how depressed I’ve been or unhappy in my physical state of being. I asked him for his support and to not bring treats into the house. I asked him to hold me accountable for any backsliding (and there will be some). But mostly I wanted to make it real with someone so that I couldn’t change my mind. I’ve got to do this. It’s for my family and for myself.

 
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Posted by on June 17, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

Ugh…the truth stinks

Yesterday I looked at the lovely photo book my son’s first grade teacher made him and it was lovely. Oh, how he has grown and changed this year. But then I saw the photo that rocked my world: I am fat. I am huge!

I have been able to weather the increasing poundage on my body and convince myself I mask it well, but no longer. The photo shows me what other people see and it ain’t a pretty picture of health.

I told myself last month when my nephew Sean shipped off to Iraq that I would have a five pound per month weightloss goal until he returned safely to US soil. So far, I haven’t met that goal. But today is a new day.

So beginning today, June 16th, I am officially turning over a new leaf. More water. More fresh produce. More movement. More of everything good and healthy. I’ll step away from the fast food, diet sodas, and processed junk. Today is a day of renewal and hope.

I know I have done a number on my body, but it is never too late to make a positive change. Today is that day. Now is that time. No more fooling myself.

 
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Posted by on June 16, 2011 in Uncategorized